Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Wisdom of Dreams: Relationships

Hello Dreamers,

Relationships are the very heart of Life.  They are the very thing we all long for and yet we are not taught or trained how to understand how relationships work.  We don't understand ourselves and we don't understand our partners very well, and so we constantly mess up.  With Jupiter traveling through Libra, the sign of relationship, for the next year, perhaps we'll learn how to find healing, balance and our own wholeness if we work with this energy.

Isis & Osiris: Susan Boulet

Ever since the Baby Boomer generation decided to search for our 'soul-mates' (we do have Neptune in Libra, so we put a lot of energy into looking for our perfect mate), we've run into trouble.  Our western culture has a tradition of Romantic Love that can really mess with our heads. If we really look at all the stories (Tristan & Isolde, Romeo & Juliet) that enshrine the idea of Romantic Love in our consciousness, you'll notice that one or both lovers end up dead.  Whether or not that was patriarchy's way of getting us to ignore true love because of the dire consequences that await us, we all have some work to do around the central value of Love.  True love isn't going to lead to literal death--it's supposed to lead to the death of our old ego-consciousness and the birth of a partnership consciousness.

As a Jungian-trained therapist, I like to look at all the figures in a dream as representing ourselves and our own energies, but sometimes we do dream about those people closest to us. 

So what happens when we dream that our husband/wife/partner is off making love to someone else?  This is a common dream occurrence.  Have you ever had one of these dreams?  I have.

What I learned about my husband was that he was emotionally engaging with a fantasy woman instead of being engaged with me.  And sometimes, that's okay.  We can't control who or what our people love, just as we can't control who we love.  Sometimes to grow, we have to let our emotional body connect with someone who isn't our life-partner.  That doesn't mean that they are literally cheating on us, but it does mean that we might not be providing the emotional support that is our job in the relationship.  And so our partners 'cheat' by imagining another way to feel.  Who are we to deny them this if we ourselves are holding back our love and emotions.

So next time you have a dream that your partner is playing around with someone else, check in with yourself to see where you've let your end of the relationship drop.  And then find ways to enchant that partner back into your bed.

Until next time,
Sweet Dreams!

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